As July bids a fond farewell and August takes the stage, It’s time for a weather update. When we last met I wrote that the Upper Valley was TOO HOT!!!
By the time that column was in print the heat wave was over.
This sort of thing has happened — as if by magic — many times in the decades I’ve been associated with the Valley News. When editors ordered up a weather story, conditions often took a turn before excited news accounts made the front page.
And so you read about droughts with rain drops falling on your head.
Still, I have no regrets about a spell of pleasant warm days and cool nights that followed my weather complaints. Perhaps I even played a small role in our good fortune.
I humbly predict that August weather will be terrible in ways we can hardly imagine. Take that, Mother Nature. Do your worst (or best).
But enough about that. Here are some other summer updates.
- A recent episode of “Jeopardy!” included a category about college home towns. When the host asked for the locale of Dartmouth College, the three contestants looked blankly into space and remained silent. These are people who have the capital of Tajikistan (Dushanbe — formerly Stalinabad) right on the tip of their tongue.
If Hanover is not recognized on Jeopardy!, what chance does my own Lebanon have? It is the only city in Grafton County, a startling fact that should not be ignored by the nation and the world — and smartypants host Ken Jennings.
- Am I the only one who notices there are fewer flying insects among us? There are few bug splats on our windshields anymore, and not many flies annoyingly landing on my ear 12 times in a row as I futilely flick at one. It’s not like I miss them, but should I miss them?
- The wall being constructed for the new Dry Bridge on South Main Street is not an aesthetic masterpiece. It needs something else.
I liked it when the nearby fire station had a banner proclaiming West Lebanon home of Rob Woodward of the Boston Red Sox. (He had four wins in four seasons, and deserved more chances by my reckoning. I recall fumble-fingered infielders bobbling balls when he was on the mound, the Sox being known more for their hitting than fielding in the 1980s.)
Lebanon has called itself the City of Fountains, but they don’t hold the public’s imagination as they once did. A banner proclaiming the City of Roundabouts might intrigue tourists, but they would be stuck in roundabout roadwork delays, which kind of defeats the purpose.
Other possibilities: West Lebanon is Best Lebanon; Welcome to Walmart, 2 Miles Ahead; Our Construction Flaggers Are the Friendliest Around; No Ivy League Schools Here – But There’s One Just Up the Road; Bridge Ahead, Eventually; If You Know Anyone Influential at Trader Joe’s, Tell Them We Want One!
Or maybe we should have a contest to pick something.
- In front yard news, a spunky marigold in my garden is recovering after repeated attacks from an unknown varmint. My plant was hacked to a pathetic nub, but it is again flowering. Nature lovers should be moved by this, although the plant is still somewhat ugly, reducing its inspirational value.
- Of international interest: County Mayo’s squad recently won the All-Ireland Final in Gaelic Football, which is sort of like rugby and soccer squished together. Seventy-five years ago, a Mayo team won the title but legend says they outraged a priest by not stopping to respect a funeral procession on their way home. The curse proclaimed that the county wouldn’t win again until all members of that team had died. They are now all gone, and Mayo has won after 11 straight losses in the finals. That, me boyo, is a serious curse. Red Sox fans take note.
- Odysseus, the hero of “The Odyssey,” now showing in both Lebanon and Hanover, took 10 years to return home from Troy after he offended the gods. He was set upon by sirens, cannibals, wild animals, a cyclops and storms, and was told to take a detour to the underworld, the ancient equivalent of the Jersey Turnpike.
As a moderately liberal voter — neither lunatic or communist — I feel my political journey since 2016 has been somewhat similar. I won’t list the travails, but if I use my imagination I can see Melania in a classic Greek robe, looking down on us with uncaring eyes, as her husband strikes with insults, threats and executive orders. He is the bane of Canada and Greenland, the scourge of Hormuz. He has kept the nation safe from Rosie O’Donnell. You know the rest.
This voyager would like to get back home, that is, to normal. Even sort of normal would do. Anybody got a map?
The writer lives in West Lebanon. He can be reached at dan.mackie@yahoo.com.
