Last December, we witnessed a friend’s peaceful death under Vermont’s Patient Choice at End of Life law (Act 39). What we saw was not despair or hopelessness — it was dignity, gratitude and a profound expression of self-determination. That experience convinced us that Medical Aid in Dying (MAiD) is a compassionate and essential option for the terminally ill in New Hampshire. By sharing Susan’s story, we hope to inspire support for this vital change in our own state.
Susan, age 85, had lived a full and remarkable life. She had built deep friendships, enjoyed a meaningful career, traveled the world and pursued passions that kept her vibrant well into her later years. But when she was diagnosed with a rare blood disease (myelodysplastic syndrome, or MDS), everything changed. She endured disabling fatigue and shortness of breath. Last fall, her doctors gave her six months or less to live. Her beloved husband had already died, and they had no children. Susan felt that she had lived a “completed” life, but she wanted her final chapter to reflect the same strength and independence that defined the rest of her journey.
As her illness progressed, her symptoms grew overwhelming. Yet Susan remained clear-minded and resolute. She wanted, above all, to die peacefully in her own home in New Hampshire. She believed deeply in personal autonomy and had long supported the right of individuals to make their own end-of-life decisions. But because our state does not have a MAiD law, Susan was denied the ability to carry out her wishes here.
Instead, she faced the difficult decision to leave her home and community to exercise her right to die on her own terms. Thankfully, compassionate friends in Vermont offered their home as a place for Susan to die, helping her access Vermont’s Act 39 after she met strict eligibility requirements confirmed by two Vermont physicians. Securing out-of-state care as an 85-year-old, terminally ill New Hampshire widow was exhausting, but Susan’s resolve never faltered.
She invited her doctor and a small number of friends to be with her when she died. On the morning of her chosen day, we gathered together to celebrate Susan’s life. We shared stories, laughter, and a meal of homemade soup, crusty bread and — with Susan’s delighted approval — “Death by Chocolate” cake. She called us her “cheerleaders.” The atmosphere was not heavy with grief but alive with gratitude for a life well lived.
At noon, Susan prepared to take the prescribed medication. After a sedative and anti-nausea medicine, she lay in bed surrounded by warmth and companionship. After a heartfelt toast to the life she had lived so fully, she swallowed the medication. “I want you to take in how unagonizing this is,” she told us as the drug began to work. “Take that out as a message about the value of the gift of medical aid in dying.”
During the next minutes, Susan described her experience with remarkable clarity: “OK, now all of you seem to be going up and down, and everything’s getting a little bit fuzzy … definitely quieter … now you are starting to spin. This is relaxed, unusual … I feel like I’m in a rocket being sent out into the most amazing quantum physics thing … I think I have about 60 seconds left to be able to say something. I am so grateful to every single one of you.” Susan then became drowsy and drifted into a peaceful sleep. Her heart stopped beating about an hour and 10 minutes later, with Linda holding her hand. She was gone—peacefully, gently, without struggle.
As witnesses, we felt honored, even awed, by the grace of her passing. As her doctor later wrote, “I think often of Susan’s final minutes — her in the bed, surrounded by a circle of us, a quiet tableau of love and conviction.” For us — now 81 and 82 years old — Susan’s story has become a call to action. No one facing death should be forced to uproot themselves, leave their loved ones, or die among strangers simply to exercise their right to self-determination.
Eleven states and the District of Columbia already allow medical aid in dying. Our neighbors in Vermont and Maine provide this option to their residents. Why should New Hampshire’s citizens be denied the same choice?
We ask all people of New Hampshire who believe that our state should allow medical aid in dying to join us as advocates. A grassroots, citizen-led effort is underway; you can help make this humane and thoughtful option a reality, allowing Granite Staters to remain at home, surrounded by love, at life’s end.
To learn more and to get involved, please visit http://www.nhendoflifeoptions.org
Linda and Lee May live in Hanover.