HANOVER, NH — The Upper Valley, and the world, lost a bright and beautiful light recently. Murray (Big Murr) Washburn, beloved restaurateur, entrepreneur, husband, father, grandfather, mentor and all-around enjoyer of life, succumbed peacefully to cancer August 17, surrounded by family and love in Lyme, NH. While he is perhaps best known for his popular restaurants, Peter Christian’s Tavern and Café Buon Gustaio, and for being one of the co-founders of the successful Red River Computer Co., his most lasting and impactful legacy will likely result from the innumerable small acts of kindness and caring he bestowed liberally on those fortunate enough to cross his path. He was a man who chose to see the good in people, and to encourage and nurture that good in others, through words and action and example. In the last months of his life, we received scores of letters and notes from people around the world detailing the ways, big and small, that he had influenced their lives and the impact it had on the people they have turned out to be. It is the ripple effect of those actions; that kindness and love reverberating and blossoming outward through those he touched, that will be the greatest gift he leaves behind.
Born on October 23, 1940, in Lake Forest, IL to James Murray Washburn Jr. and Barbara Poole Washburn, he was a motivated and curious boy. An early job as a paper boy was a formative experience, whetting his entrepreneurial spirit and teaching him the value of hard work and personal relationships. He attended the Taft School, then Purdue University, where he earned a BS in Industrial Management and met his oldest and dearest friend, Bob Burgess (with whom he had a lifetime of adventures and who, sadly, preceded him in death last year). In 1963, he enrolled in the Army, rising to the rank of Captain and spending time in Hawaii and Taiwan R.O.C. After leaving the Army, he went to work for Alcoa Labs and met the love of his life, Karen Wagner Washburn. The two were married in 1967 in Bat Cave, N.C., then moved to Berkeley CA, where he studied Business before returning to Hawaii in 1969 where the first two of their four children (J.Murray IV and Peter Christian) were born. Murray got his start in the restaurant industry managing Buzz’s Steakhouse in Lanikai before moving to Lake Lure, N.C. to work at the family’s Chalet Club Resort. Visiting friends in the Upper Valley on a beautiful fall Dartmouth homecoming weekend, Murray and Karen fell in love with Hanover and knew it was where they wanted to live and raise their family. They saw the need for a comfortable, welcoming and healthy restaurant in the area and opened Peter Christian’s Tavern in 1973, with Murray running the front of the house and Karen managing the cooking and catering, all while celebrating the birth of their third child, Wynne. The tavern was a success and outposts in New London and Keene, NH, followed. While running the restaurants, Murray still found time to be a town Selectman and member of the Diversion committee, volunteer as a Cub Scout leader, hockey coach, announcer for Dartmouth Hockey and so much more. The door to their house was always open, and over the years a wonderful cast of characters – friends, students, musicians, artists, entire ballet companies, and people who just needed some love and a place to regain their footing – came to stay, sometimes briefly, sometimes for long enough to become virtual members of the family. He and Karen welcomed their fourth child, Annie, in ’78, and built a rambling post and beam house in Etna that was big enough for them and anyone else who cared to visit. It was a magical place. Following his love for Northern Italian cuisine, he opened Café Buon Gustaio in Hanover 1989. Murray truly enjoyed the human side of the restaurant business, pouring drinks, welcoming people in, feeding them well, but the hours and intensity of it all began to wear on him, and in ’95, he sold the Peter Christian’s name and business to employees of the New London branch (which is still operating, albeit under different ownership). In ’97 he sold Café Buon Gustaio and threw himself into an entirely different enterprise, co-founding Red River Computer Company with several partners. He retired from the business in 2005 to focus on his true passion – enjoying life with his wife and family – which he did with gusto: dining out, visiting the Virgin Islands, restoring and driving his Austin Healey, spending time with his growing cadre of grandchildren, finding joy in everyday life. Even Karen’s stroke in 2014 didn’t slow them down. He transitioned seamlessly into the role of caretaker and the two of them continued to live the hell out of life, taking in plays and concerts, traveling, gardening and enjoying their legendary lunch-on-through-dinner all-day residencies at local restaurants. His genuine warmth and irrepressible joie de vivre will be sorely missed by all who knew him.
He leaves behind a large and loving family: his wife, Karen Wagner Washburn; son, J. Murray Washburn IV and daughter-in-law, Zoe Hathorn Washburn and their children, James the Fifth and Clara; son, Peter Christian Washburn; daughter, Wynne Washburn Mushlin and son-in-law, Zeb Mushlin and their daughters, Zela, Zara and Zazie; and daughter, Annie Washburn Saul and son-in-law Greg Saul and their daughters, Adara and Eliana.
As we mourn the passing of this great guy, we ask all who mourn with us to forgo the flowers or gifts or donations that ordinarily serve as expressions of condolences and rather, do as he would have done: Love each other wholly. Give great hugs. Yell “Huzzah!” and tune into the joy that exists in everyday things. Be “a weapon in the war on mediocrity” as he loved to say. And most of all, find a way to do something kind and generous for someone unexpected. Big Murr would love that.
A memorial service will be held at a future, post-COVID, date. To be notified of the date, or to submit photos, memories or tall tales for inclusion, send an email to peter.washburn@me.com.