Earlier this year, Lorin Durand, of Quechee, noticed that her 13-year-old daughter Cordelia was spending too much time on YouTube. The family has strict screen-time policies, but Cordelia always wanted more.
“If she could, she would be consuming media all the time,” Durand said of her rising eighth grader.
Durand was pragmatic. She knew that she couldn’t keep Cordelia away from YouTube entirely.
“If I could have my way there would be almost no media whatsoever, but I didn’t want her to be out of step with her peers,” Durand said. “I wanted her to enjoy it, with context.”
The two came up with a compromise: Cordelia could spend more time on the internet, if she dedicated that time to learning about and producing her own content. Now, Cordelia is producing one video a week, spending time learning about editing, graphic design and filming. She’s having fun and building skills, which makes Durand feel better about the amount of screen time her daughter is having.
“I wanted her to be more of a digital producer and not just a consumer,” Durand said.
The pandemic and remote learning caused many Upper Valley families to reevaluate their screen time rules. Kids were spending more time online for classes; and many parents used additional screen time to keep kids entertained while they worked from home. Although experts’ general recommendations on screen time haven’t changed, many recognize that during this time when many families are focused on surviving, screen time might increase.
“Limit the media, monitor it, but allow it,” said Louis DiNicola, a pediatrician who recently retired from his role as medical director for primary care at Gifford Medical Center in Randolph. “If it allows you to get things done and chill out, that’s good.”
It’s OK to use screen time to get through the days, DiNicola said, but he recommends that families balance that with other activities, like time outside and family meals that are screen-free.
That’s the approach that Kayleigh Tassone, of White River Junction, took with her 12-year-old son, Camden, a rising seventh grader. During Vermont’s stay-at-home order, Camden socialized with friends through video games and other screen time. Because of that, Tassone allowed him more time online than she typically would, but she still required him to spend time outside, reading and doing chores.
“I really don’t like him spending a lot of time on games, so it was really hard for me, but he was really missing people,” Tassone said.
Durand also allowed her kids — Cordelia and 9-year-old Gwendolyne — more screen time because they were missing out on socialization. Cordelia hadn’t previously been allowed social media, but during the pandemic all of her friends were communicating through Instagram. Durand allowed her to get an account and use it on a limited basis, about 20 minutes a day.
“If a teen doesn’t have access to those social media tools, they end up being shut out of relationships,” Durand said.
Eula Kozma, a New London mother of two, found it challenging to stick to her family’s screen-time norms when the line between entertainment and education was blurred. Her son Miles, 6, was in kindergarten last year. He wasn’t interested in completing the paper packets that his teacher sent home, but he was eager to do educational games on the Khan Academy app, which his teacher recommended.
“I was finding I was setting him up with something like that, whereas I probably wouldn’t have before,” Kozma said. It was particularly useful when she needed to be on a work call, because Miles would be entertained and learning.
In the past, screen time was a power struggle in Kozma’s house, with kids wanting more and parents wanting less. Remote learning and the pandemic helped them break out of that pattern.
“There was an adjustment to using (screens) as a learning device,” she said. “There were different levels of screen time than we had ever had before.”
Like Kozma, it took Durand a while to adjust to the new normal of screen time allowance in the home.
“I think if five years ago if I had been told how much I’m letting them use screen time I wouldn’t have believed it,” she said.