I love late fall afternoons when the sun sets early and sudden gusts sweep crumbled leaves across the path my dog and I walk on, when the din of traffic along Main Street is muffled by the louder sounds above me, of bare branches breathing into the cold air. I’m wary, attuned to the oncoming darkness and the less familiar sounds, not with a sense of foreboding but because it’s mysterious.

It was the word “mystery” that my perceptive Celtic harp teacher used when she, at this very time of year, introduced me to the “Dorian mode” in music. I’d missed learning about it during my long time of studying piano, but have found it natural and inviting in my harp playing.

Describing Dorian as “the most grounding mode,” she went on to explain that pieces composed in it sound like they are in a minor key. They convey a sense of the unknown, of the ancient medieval world. “And it’s right now,” she added, “that the veil thins between this realm and the next. We have access to secrets.”

Recalling her words, I’m intrigued. As night comes and I pick up my pen, I’m eager to explore the shadows. The light is different and so are my interests.

I have things to think about. As an older woman who chose to move to Vermont for a post-retirement job and to be near grandchildren as they grew up, I am now faced with the fact that I’ve finished both of those pursuits. The job ended after several delightful years, and the grandkids are both college students.

Even as I pursue other projects that I find engaging and worth the energy they take, I recognize as well that I am at another of life’s inevitable crossroads. For most of the hours of a day, I’m in and of the world around me:  helping, discussing, deciding, doing my part, whatever it is at a given moment.

But on those more mysterious winter-is-coming-evenings, I begin to wonder aloud on paper: What if I decided to do less of the working, probing, and contending with life’s issues that go on so continuously around me?

What would life look like for me, if I chose that path?

Mary K. Otto lives in Norwich.