HANOVER — When I first walked into Still North Books & Bar for a queer social mixer on a recent damp evening in March, I worried it was going to be a flop.
No one had shown up yet, save for the mixer’s organizer, Aaron Almanza, who stood at a tall wooden table that held a small platter of crudités and a rainbow sign alerting people to the event: Qbar Upper Valley.
But a flop it was not. Slowly, visitors trickled in from the cold and the energy in the space began to build as introductions were exchanged and chatter filled the air.
I was surprised by how diverse the group of about 10 was both in age and background. Those I talked to didn’t necessarily expect to meet up outside of Qbar, but that didn’t seem to bother them. What they were looking for was an opportunity to spend time with other queer people in a space that felt safe and welcoming.
“I come to this to find community,” said Aja Howes, who traveled 45 minutes from her home in Grafton to attend that night.
Howes grew up going to an evangelical church, which she left when she was 17. Now 38, she’s spent the last two decades shedding the homophobia and sexism she internalized from her years in church and honing her sense of self.
“I feel like I’m getting there,” said Howes, who identifies as asexual and uses she/he/they pronouns.
Her family is based nearby, and she’s close with them, but living in Grafton can get lonely.
“I don’t know any of my neighbors,” she said.
She hopes to move closer to the center of the Upper Valley so she can meet more like-minded people and attend events like Qbar.
“I’m very introverted,” she said. “Which can make things hard.”
Like Howes, 21-year-old Jaklyn LaFountaine had to overcome some social anxiety to get through Still North’s door that night. She found the event on Instagram and went back and forth about whether to go.
To help her confidence, she spent three days planning what outfit she’d wear, settling on a black button-down shirt dotted with mythical creatures, a black skirt, heeled boots and leg warmers.
She’s living with her parents in Hartford and has had a tough time making friends. “It was either this or sit and listen to music,” she said.
She’s attended gatherings hosted by Cobra Lily Collective, an Upper Valley-based mutual aid group that focuses on supporting trans people, but in general she wishes the queer scene “was more alive” in the Upper Valley, she said. “If it was, I’d be out of the house so much more.”
It’s true that while there are usually LGBTQ+ dance parties scheduled throughout the month at venues such as Babes Bar in Bethel and the Main Street Museum and the Filling Station in White River Junction, opportunities to socialize with other queer people off of the dance floor can be limited.
Qbar, which Almanza started with a few friends in 2023, has helped fill that gap.
“It does what I wanted it to do, which is get people together,” Almanza said in a phone interview.
Before moving to Claremont, Almanza lived in San Francisco, a city famous for its thriving queer scene. Qbar is modeled on the Guerrilla Queer Bar events Almanza attended in the early aughts in which queer people would meet up at non-gay bars across the city as a way of taking up space in traditionally straight venues.
Back then there was no social media to help get the word out. Instead, participants relied on phone chains, which Almanza eventually helped facilitate.
In general, he follows in the Guerrilla Queer Bar tradition and only announces the location of a Qbar event on the day it’s scheduled.
Past venues have included Daddy’s Pizza in Claremont, the Filling Station and Main Street Museum in White River Junction, and the Ottauquechee Yacht Club in Woodstock.
Changing locations keeps things interesting, and it also makes the events more accessible to people commuting from different parts of the Upper Valley.
Qbar socials take place monthly and usually draw about 15 people, but numbers can fluctuate greatly.
Hitting certain numbers isn’t a big preoccupation for Almanza. “The routine is what’s important,” he said.
He’s also started hosting a craft-making social called Crafty Queers on Sundays at the Little Queery Free Library and Art Space, a mini library with mostly queer literature inside the First Congregational Church in Claremont, to offer an opportunity to socialize that doesn’t involve alcohol.
“I’m glad there’s options,” he said. “We need to have places where people can actually have a conversation.”
At Still North that night, LaFountaine started chatting about music with another visitor to Qbar, James Haaf.
Haaf, who’s 74 and has lived in Windsor for decades, can remember when queer gatherings weren’t so public. More often they took the form of house parties that you had to be in the know about to attend.
“What I saw 30 years ago was very hidden,” he said.
That’s changed over the years as queer people have fought for greater social acceptance, but Almanza still makes sure the venues he chooses are safe for Qbar participants.
Years after he and other queer people gathered for Guerrilla Queer Bar events in San Francisco, it still feels vital to take up space together, especially under the Trump administration, which has taken steps to restrict gender-affirming health care and bar transgender people from serving in the military.
“We’re showing up, we’re showing up for each other. It’s a scary time, but one way to combat that is with queer joy,” Almanza said.
To learn more about Qbar Upper Valley events visit Qbar’s Instagram page @qbaruv. To learn more about Crafty Queers events visit the Instagram page @littlequeery.
Ukulele plus
The Anonymous Coffeehouse has a show coming up this Friday at the First Congregational Church in Lebanon. Ukulele and guitar player Stu Fuchs will open at 7:30 p.m., followed by folk duo the Early Risers and singer-songwriter Brooks Hubbard. Go to anoncoffee.org to learn more.
Umbrella plus
Students at Oxbow High School are performing their spring musical “Mary Poppins Jr.” on April 9 through 11 in Bradford, Vt. Admission is by donation. Go to oxbowhighschool.org to learn more.
LOH shows
Mexican artist Lucía, whose music fuses pop with jazz rhythms, will perform at Lebanon Opera House at 7:30 p.m. on Friday, April 10. For tickets ($25-$40) and more information go to lebanonoperahouse.org.
The next evening, students, faculty and guest artists will perform in New England School of the Arts’ benefit concert at the opera house, a short walk from the school. The showcase starts at 7 p.m. Tickets are $38 and can be purchased on the opera house’s website.
Ska-tooth
Steppin’ Razor Blades and McAsh are bringing ska and punk music to Sawtooth Kitchen, Bar and Stage at 9 p.m. on Friday, April 10 in Hanover. Tickets are $5. Learn more at sawtoothkitchen.com.
Mud time
The Chandler Players are producing and performing their annual Mud Season Variety Show at 6 p.m. on Saturday, April 11 at Chandler Center for the Arts in Randolph. Other artists in the lineup include award-winning drag performer Emoji Nightmare and a banjo-led tribute to “Rainbow Connection” from “The Muppet Movie.” For tickets ($11; free for kids 12 and under) go to chandler-arts.org.
Music is for mammals
Americana band The Mammals is performing at 4 p.m. at Alumni Hall in Haverhill on Sunday, April 12. The concert will be followed by dinner from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $31.75 and $16.25 for students with ID. Tickets to the dinner are an additional $20. To purchase tickets and learn more go to csa-alumnihall.org.
