CORNISH — When Connie Kousman returned to the part of Maine where she grew up to be closer to her sister, she left her heart in Cornish.
For more than 50 years, Kousman called Cornish home. It was there that she forged strong bonds through numerous civic and social activities. Once back in Maine starting in 2021, she declared “dual citizenship” with her adopted hometown and stayed in touch with calls, cards and emails.
“She was a dear friend to so many people and even though she moved to Maine, her heart remained in Cornish,” said Leigh Callahan, a Cornish friend with whom Kousman co-wrote books. “We had a book club and she continued to write ‘Connie’s Comments’ that were New York Times book review worthy and she kept in touch with all her friends here.”
When Cornish resident Martha Zoerheide went to stay at her cottage in Maine, she would have lunch with Kousman and get caught up on the news at home.
“I had to go to Maine to find out what was happening in Cornish,” laughed Zoerheide. “She stayed connected with Cornish because she really loved Cornish.”
Kousman, 87, died from breast cancer on Aug. 27, in Hancock, Maine, where she grew up. As her health declined in recent years, she moved back to Maine to be closer to her sister and best friend, Joyce Young.
Young, who lives in Hancock, said she never realized the breadth of her sister’s service to Cornish until her death. Not living in town, Young wasn’t able to observe her sister’s role in the community and Kousman “never elaborated on it.”
“It was really humbling reading the many sympathy cards that poured in daily,” Young said in an email. “Their words were so real and caring and expressed how important Connie was in their life and the town and told me a story about my sister. She was certainly a staple in Cornish.”
Kousman was born in Bangor, Maine, June 23, 1938, to Edgar and Marcia Baker. Her father worked for Bath Iron Works for a time. Later, after the family moved to Hancock, he was an appliance repairman.
She grew up in the region known as Maine’s Downeast Coast and Young recalls her sister as someone with a “free and adventurous spirit” going off on long walks with her dog through the woods to the ocean and returning in time for dinner.
“She was an explorer and when she could drive, she would explore farther away and find new adventures,” Young said.
Kousman moved to Cornish in the 1960s when her then-husband took a job in Lebanon. It was then that she began her life of service. She directed the Cornish General Assistance Program, which aided residents who struggled to make ends meet, while also working for New Hampshire Vocational Rehabilitation as an independent community rehabilitation provider.
“She had wonderful values that drove her community work as well as her professional work,” said Judith Kaufman, who also worked with the general assistance program.
Kousman went beyond assisting people in finding a job, Kaufman said. “She also set them on a career path. I have heard that from so many people.”
Among those to credit Kousman with career assistance is Lacie Amos-Scheuer, who was a young child when her family became Kousman’s neighbors.
Whenever Amos-Scheurer expressed an interest in something, such as hiking, Kousman was right there to support and encourage her, even once offering to lend her boots.
“She has such a big personality and was probably the best neighbor I could have had as a kid,” Amos-Scheurer, 36, said. “She became sort of a grandmotherly or auntie figure.”
When Amos-Scheurer, who earned a degree in wildlife biology, wanted to do something different, Kousman encouraged her to seek jobs in medical-related fields.
Worried she did not have the necessary experience, Kousman urged her to find employers willing to train her. “ ‘Don’t worry. If you give them space, they will tell you what you need to do,’ she told me.
“That is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given in my life,” said Amos-Scheurer, who now works for Golden Cross Ambulance in Claremont. “That has led me through all my medical training.”
Amos-Scheurer is set to begin physician’s assistant school in December.
Kousman served as director of Cornish’s general assistance program for 23 years. When that job ended, she recruited several volunteers to help her launch Cornish Aging in Place, or CAIP.
“She didn’t wait for someone to do something,” Zoerheide said. “She developed ideas when she saw a need and had a way of getting people to volunteer. On those committees, I realized what a special lady she was. She was just one of those people that made everyone feel special.”
CAIP provides information to seniors on services and agencies that can assist them, offers one on one help and hold seminars with guest speakers to talk about housing, advanced care planning, preserving assets and more.
“She thought it was important to help seniors in Cornish age in place and I was one of the people she recruited,” said Jan Lord, who remains on the committee. “I have always had an interest in this type of work and Connie was a real mentor to me. She walked the walk.”
Under Kousman’s guidance, CAIP’s first project was publishing a resource guide that listed state and federal agencies, hospitals and other organizations that could assist seniors.
“We distributed one to every senior in Cornish and it was so popular, other towns asked for copies,” Lord said.
Some of the most cherished memories people have of Kousman were boating excursions with the Cornish Ladies Canoe and Kayak Club that she started.
Kousman piled kayaks into the back of her red pickup, tying them down before driving off with others to a local pond for a day on the water. “It was mostly an excuse to have lunch in a beautiful place,” Kaufman said.
Callahan, who also kayaked and joined CAIP to support Kousman, jokingly referred to her friend as the “clandestine cranberry pirate.”
“Every fall she would go out in her kayak to the secret bog and harvest wild cranberries,” Callahan said.
Kousman’s interests informed her writing. Together, Kousman and Callahan wrote The Cornish Cranberry Cookbook and The Second Hand Solution, a guide to thrift shops and rummage sales in the Upper Valley.
Even after she moved back to Maine, Kousman maintained her membership with the Friends of the Cornish Library and with Cornish Aging In Place, participating in meetings via Zoom.
“She always told us what a great job we were doing and how good it felt for her to stay involved,” Lord said. “Connie had a real passion for this. She was just an incredible person and I feel really blessed to have had her in my life.”
In addition to building close relationships with people, Kousman also connected with wild animals.
Kousman befriended an owl living briefly in a tree trunk outside her home by feeding it, Kaufman said. “Everybody knew about Connie’s owl and would drive over to see it.”
Then there was the pet skunk. Kousman adopted the skunk after its mother was killed by a car, her sister said.
“The skunk was allowed to come into the house,” Young wrote in an email. “She had it for several years and never once did the skunk spray. He would ring a string of bells that were hanging on the door outside and that was her signal that he was ready to come back inside.”
Amos-Scheurer remembers her encounters with the skunk.
“I had to catch the skunk a few times when it got into the recycling and got something stuck on its head,” Amos-Scheurer said. “It would looked surprised when I pulled a can off its head and didn’t see Connie.”
Since her death, community members have reflected on the influence Kousman had on their community.
Many people spoke about the special connection they felt with her at a memorial service last month, said Henry Homeyer, who first met Kousman at the Cornish Farmers Market about 20 years ago.
“Every single person in that room felt that he or she was special to Connie,” Homeyer said. “She really did care for each and everyone one of us.”
Patrick O’Grady can be reached at pogclmt@gmail.com
