I hardly know what to write about this week — so much is going on in the world that it makes your head spin. Mine too.
We seized the president of Venezuela and, if we can work out the logistics, are going to seize its oil. I’m told they stole it from us. Perhaps nations, tribes and ingrates around the world have been stealing their resources from us all along, but we are opening a mighty big can of worms here, all of it packed in oil.
A confession: I had to look up Venezuela online because I wasn’t exactly sure where it is. I had a general idea, but it’s not as easy as picking out Chile, a long wiggly fire hose of a nation.
Perhaps I could bring the Venezuelans a friendly message from our Upper Valley, a not very warlike region of America. If I could round up a convoy, we’d call it Priuses for Peace.
But ChatGPT tells me it would take seven days or more to get from West Lebanon to Caracas. One section of the trip has no roads. Border crossings are tricky, safety uncertain.
I asked ChatGPT if I should try. Using enough energy to power every home in Canaan for three months, it provided a very direct answer: “Even for people who are adventurous, driving from New Hampshire to Caracas is one of the most complicated overland trips on the planet. For someone who says they’re not adventurous, it’s a hard don’t.”
So I guess not. I don’t even like driving in Boston, where I get nervous and drivers are already on a war footing.
Meanwhile, something is rotten in Denmark. Again. They took Greenland when it is probably rightfully ours because, well, it looms up there on maps looking like a big lug doing nothing. Why should we have to put up with that?
I don’t know a lot about the ice-rich nation, but about a year ago I was startled to learn that Greenland isn’t as remote as it makes itself out to be.
According to Encyclopedia Britannica, it is a mere 16 miles from Canada’s chunky Ellesmere Island, a substantial piece of real estate with no current listings on Zillow. The World Population Review says only 144 people lived on Ellesmere in 2024, and that it contains “research stations.” What exactly are they researching? Is it for good or evil? Are we supposed to sit idly by?
But what do I know? Maybe Venezuelan drug boats are roaring to Greenland even as you read this.
It’s a confusing, dangerous world. We have the reassurance of knowing that our leaders solved the Tragic Case of the Minnesota ICE Shooting in less than 5 minutes. And that, my friends, speaks for itself.
It’s also a funny world. We are threatening Iran to protect protesters, and I suppose Iran could return the favor.
Fortunately, the Twin States seem to be keeping out of our president’s animated thoughts and dreams. New Hampshire has enough MAGA cred to stay out of trouble. Vermont would make a good target since it is not only woke, but wicked woke. Maybe there aren’t enough radical liberal lunatics to bother with, since the old hippies are fading away. I miss the tie-dye shirts.
Dartmouth College (Big Green Land?) is keeping its head down and I can’t say I blame them. I have given up waiting for brave stands from elites, other than from artists and entertainers and the cast of “Wicked.”
As for myself, I have been thinking about new hobbies to take my mind off current events. I currently do sessions of fast typing, followed by agonizingly slow typing, the writer’s workout that keeps fingers limber and the brain engaged. You just carry your inner critic on your back as you trudge up metaphorical hills and mountains and often get lost along the way.
But I need more diversions, since all roads lead to the White House and whatever is happening there.
In the spirit of the times, it could be something along the line of tight-rope walking. It’s good for balance and perspective. OSHER at Dartmouth could offer “Bull Riding for Seniors: An Immersive Experience.” Medicare Advantage would surely co-sponsor. Maybe I could lead a senior cruise to Greenland. If it hit an iceberg I’d say, “All things considered, I suppose that makes sense.”
So the news leaks in, like the snow/sleet/freezing rain that makes up our weather from time to time. It takes a pretty upbeat person to skip down an icy street.
Spirits are drooping, but even now there’s a warm fire at home and the sun must return sometime. Resist!
Dan Mackie lives in West Lebanon. He can be reached at dan.mackie@yahoo.com.