Driving to work today, I couldn’t help but think about what’s ahead these next few months. The geese and monarch butterflies have headed to a warmer climate. The trees have lost their summer and fall lushness, and their bare limbs are prepared for the snow and wind ahead. Lawns have been mowed and raked for the last time, and lawn furniture has found its way to storage.
My mind then wanders to the “season of celebrations” coming up. No matter your religion, financial status, color of skin, place of residence or combination of dynamics in your life, the upcoming months are filled with parties, gatherings, activities and celebrations. It’s reminiscing about the year we’ve had, saying goodbye to old memories and planning goals and expectations for the new year.
When I think of parenting through the next few months, I think of the words of my favorite holiday song, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” and then I chuckle to myself: “…said no parent ever.”
There are so many disruptions of the “normalcy” families have worked hard to develop and incorporate into their daily lives that get interrupted during this time of longer, colder days with less daylight. Routines, sleep schedules, and nutrition are about to be replaced with chaos, over-tired children, and lots of sweet treats and typically forbidden meals. It is a time of exposure to lots of germs, colds and sickness, meeting friends and family (sometimes strangers to your children), differing expectations and guidelines for what’s acceptable and not acceptable for your family. In general, it means less “downtime” and quiet time and planning time for parents individually and with their immediate household.
This “season of celebrations” is bound to mean some adjustments and chaos, but I think that with advance thinking, planning and scheduling it can be a great time for families to make their own individual and unique family traditions.
Start by planning early, now. Map out your routines and schedules now and include those values and routines that are important to your individual family. Prepare and communicate with extended family and friends what your plans are and feel confident to say, “no thank you” to things that do not meet your family’s needs. Prepare your children for activities and help them understand what to expect and what your expectations are of them. Include down time and quiet time for yourself and your children in your schedule and make it non-negotiable. These times together are what are going to make a difference in the moment and as you come back to your normal routines in the new year.
There are so many things to celebrate at this time of year, sometimes for me it means thinking about the things that my children will remember from their childhood, which often means getting back to the basics: Make snow angels, build a fire, roast marshmallows inside, building snow people, bake together, play dress up, curl up with a comfy blanket and books. Think about the moments that you remember as a child during the holidays. Celebrate the small stuff and keep the traditions and activities that make your family unique, things that are going to make this “the most wonderful time of the year!”
Lori Stever is the parent education coordinator at The Family Place, a Norwich-based nonprofit organization that assists families with young children.