New book from Upper Valley authors aims to overcome political polarization

“The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion.”

— Abraham Lincoln

Are you discouraged by events in our country? Does consuming the news bring you down and leave you turning it off? Have your relationships with friends or family been negatively affected by politics? Do you feel helpless to do anything about it?

We sure feel that way some of the time. As a former New Hampshire GOP legislator and a left-leaning Vermont physician researcher, we came together to harness our energy from
frustration to writing the new book, “Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times.”

New Hampshire author Douglass Teschner:

I recall an unpleasant conversation at an outdoor concert where I set up my lawn chair
near a couple I had known for many years. One of them had served (like me) as a state
legislator, and the conversation turned to politics. Sadly, it quickly became nasty as we
discussed the 2016 presidential election with brusque comments back and forth. I recall
being upset and dissatisfied, thinking that conversation had been a lose-lose situation. I
left that evening disappointed in myself and vowing to do better.

I was introduced to Braver Angels by folksinger Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul, and Mary
fame. I first met Peter in Ukraine in 2010 when I led the Peace Corps program there.
Peace Corps Volunteers had invited him to Kyiv because his nonprofit Operation Respect
promotes anti-bullying in schools using music — including an incredibly powerful song
“Don’t Laugh at Me.”

In November 2019, I reconnected with Peter at the Lebanon Opera House after his
concert with long-time partner Noel Paul Stookey. After a big hug, Peter made a pitch
for Braver Angels, the national organization that seeks ways past what co-founder Bill
Doherty describes as making someone’s policy positions a fundamental test of their
humanity and integrity. Given my concerns about where our country was headed, this
turned out to be exactly what I was looking for. As we were writing the book, I was sad
to learn of the death of my friend Peter.

Vermont author Beth Malow:

I remember talking with a friend who no longer called her son, who had voted differently
from her in the 2020 presidential election. They had previously been very close, but
hadn’t communicated in more than a year. Falling out with her son meant that my friend hadn’t seen her daughter-in-law or grandchildren either. It was sad to see a family separated by politics. I had become involved with Braver Angels in 2017 after hearing about the organization on NPR. I helped recruit “blues” (Democrats or left- leaning voters) for workshops in Nashville that summer that included a mix of “reds” (Republicans or right-leaning voters) and “blues,” and attended one of the first “red/blue” workshops myself. I found hope through interacting with others who held different political views than I did, realizing how many values we had in common.

In July 2023, Doug and Beth attended the Braver Angels national convention on the sacred
ground of Gettysburg, PA. The nearly 700 attendees were asked “Why are you here?” Doug
wrote on his 3 x 5 card: “I am worried that my grandchildren will not experience the benefits of this country that I have.” Beth wrote on hers: “I want to engage with other like-minded people who love this country and want to bridge divides.”
Others responses from the nearly 700 attendees included:

“We need to trust each other again, and trust begins with communication and
relationship.”

“I’m here to dig deeper into my own biases and judgments.”

“To build relationships with people with different experiences and perspectives than
mine.”

“I am here because, if we don’t change how our politics is done, we’ll see ourselves in
another civil war. Except this time, it won’t look like Gettysburg – it’ll look like Rwanda.”

Teschner: Having worked in Rwanda in the early 2000s, that last comment really caught my attention. I led a US Agency for International Development-funded project to strengthen the parliament in that nation so scarred by the 1994 Hutu genocide against the Tutsis. Neighbors killed neighbors, even people they knew well, just because they were in a
different tribe. The killers were emboldened by leaders who exploited difference and
fear. I remember feeling grateful that we didn’t have political tribes in the United States.
In 2014, I was working in Guinea during the Ebola epidemic in West Africa that touched
many other nations. I recall thinking Americans, unlike many Guineans, would have faith
in our public health system in the event of a national medical emergency.

I was obviously wrong on both counts. We find ourselves today in political tribes and the
COVID pandemic severely tested our ability to communicate with others and trust what
the government was telling us. While that pandemic may be behind us, it has clearly left
deep scars.

An April 2024 PBS NewsHour/NPR/Marist poll found that one in five U.S. adults believe Americans may have to resort to violence to get our country back on track. Another study found that 49% of Republicans and 33% of Democrats would feel “displeased” if their child married someone outside their party – compared to only 5% and 4% in 1960.

Being torn apart by politics makes it harder to address wide-ranging national (and international) challenges such as inflation, taxation and tariffs; economic disparities; affordable and accessible health care, child care, education and housing; the national debt; climate change; immigration; racism and antisemitism; distrust of government and other institutions; uncertainty about the expanding role of artificial intelligence; and war and political unrest in many parts of the world.

This long list is a lot to be worried about, but addressing these challenges will be much harder if we cannot find ways to overcome (1) growing distrust of fellow citizens; (2) declines in kindness, respect, humility, and how we treat others; and (3) political polarization. We can begin with ourselves and how we engage with others, especially with people who might have different perspectives. People vote the way they do for any number of reasons, and every person is an individual with their own needs and aspirations. We can resist making assumptions and putting people in boxes.

Polarization was selected as Merriam-Webster’s 2024 Word of the Year which was no surprise. Disagreements over ideas and policies (called ideological polarization) can be healthy for our society. In contrast, dislike and distrust of people with different views (called affective polarization) is toxic and interferes with healthy disagreement, creating an “us vs. them” mentality.
Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin offered this hopeful perspective reflecting on her book An
Unfinished Love Story, A Personal History of the 1960s: “America has been at odds with itself before. I’ve been drawn to such turbulent times — the Civil War, the Industrial Revolution, World War II. This [book] is the story of one of those times, of my husband and myself, and our generation shaped by the cataclysms of the 1960s. We see what historic opportunities were seized, what chances were lost, what light those years cast upon our own fractured time. ‘The end of our country has loomed many times before,’ my husband often reminded me, ‘America is not as fragile as it seems.’”

America is not as fragile as it seems. We believe that, too, but it is up to us to live and embrace it. If we don’t like what we see, it is our responsibility to act with a hopeful spirit. Hope starts with believing that, despite our differences, we can find a way to hold our country together. People are hungry for something better.

Finding something meaningful to accomplish, often with others, is a critical aspect of hope. Ongoing self-reflection is needed, including understanding how our actions and behavior impact others, coupled with a commitment to ongoing personal development and relationship building. We can make a personal investment to earn the trust of others by acting with curiosity and openness. Embracing positive change is fundamental to growing as a person, and can make our country better, too! Yes, there is hope, but change is on us. And, as actor Christopher Reeve has observed, “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.”

“Beyond the Politics of Contempt” launched Sept. 9 and is available at the Yankee Bookshop in Woodstock, the Norwich Bookstore and online. Author events are planned at:
● Quechee Library (5:30 pm, Sept. 16),
● Norwich Bookstore (7 pm, Nov. 4), and
● Norman Williams Public Library in Woodstock (6 pm, Nov. 18).
We can be reached at connect@beyondthepoliticsofcontempt.com.

Doug Teschner and Beth Malow live in West Lebanon and Quechee, respectively. Becky
Robinson, the book’s third author, lives in Michigan.