NORWICH — When Nancy Dumont’s husband, Terry, was in hospice care a decade ago, she thought she knew what to expect.
“I thought that hospice was doctors and nurses that would pretty much take care of everything and I would just sit back and my husband would comfortably die at home,” Dumont, of White River Junction, said during a panel discussion about hospice care hosted by nonprofit Bayada Hospice last Thursday at Norwich Congregational Church. Instead, “We were expected to be very active players. I now see the wisdom of that approach.”
Dumont, who now works at Bayada, was one of three panelists who took part in the discussion, that was held as part of National Hospice and Palliative Care Month to better educate the public about hospice care. She joined Andy Williams, of Norwich, whose wife, Deb Williams died last March, and Elizabeth Austin Asch, of Hanover, whose mother, Katherine Biddle Austin, died last August. All of their loved ones received hospice care from Bayada. The discussion was moderated by Bob Miller, of Norwich, and organized by Cynthia Stadler, community liaison at Bayada Hospice.
“It was a really beautiful end to what had been a really hard time,” Dumont said of the care her husband received.
It was a sentiment echoed by Williams and Asch.
After Asch’s mother experienced multiple spinal fractures and her health started to deteriorate, a medical professional suggested hospice.
“That was the last thing mom and I were thinking about,” Asch said. “She really resisted it. We needed support and she wasn’t having any of it.”
Austin ended up receiving hospice care for more than 2½ years while living at Wheelock Terrace in Hanover. While Austin was hesitant about hospice, Asch welcomed the assistance.
“It was a big relief to me though,” Asch said. “We were heading down this road and we didn’t have any maps.”
Hospice ended up being an enriching and meaningful experience for Asch and Austin. In addition to the medical care Austin received, there was counseling support for Asch and the rest of the family.
“There was just this delicacy,” Asch said of the care Austin and her family received. “Some of the most beautiful moments of my life were at the end of my mother’s life.”
Williams said that hospice helped his wife carry out the end of her life exactly as she wanted it.
“She had made her expectations of how the final stage of her life would go,” Williams said of Deb Williams’ seven-year battle with cancer. After being told by a doctor that there were no other medical options available, “we stopped that day. The next day wonderful people from Bayada showed up at the hospital and two days later they were up at our house.”
Deb Williams received hospice care for about eight months before her death.
After sharing their stories, the crowd of more than two dozen was able to ask the panelists questions. Dumont, Asch and Williams agreed that hospice care should be brought up in conversations with medical professionals earlier on in the progression of an illness.
“It was a trauma,” Dumont said of losing her husband when he was 57. Now a decade later, “I thought why did he go through all that treatment that was so painful when we knew we were prolonging something?”
Using hindsight, Dumont said she wished she had taken more advantage of the social work and counseling services available.
“If hospice is done well it can be the most remarkable experience of your life,” Dumont said.
Liz Sauchelli can be reached at esauchelli@vnews.com or 603-727-3221.
