Many parents count down to the milestones that will make paying for child care just a bit more reasonable.
There’s the reduced costs when a baby turns 2 and is no longer considered an infant and the large reduction in cost when kids start kindergarten. But most promising for many parents is finally being able to leave kids home unsupervised.
New Hampshire and Vermont do not have laws dictating the age at which children can stay home by themselves. Instead, lawmakers and health care providers say that parents should consider their children’s specific development and maturity.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children not be left alone before age 10. Before that, children don’t have the emotional maturity to respond to an emergency or unexpected situation, even if they can rattle off the list of things they should do, said Dr. Nina Sand-Loud, a developmental behavioral pediatrician at The Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock.
Sand-Loud recommends parents consider the following before leaving children home alone:
■Children’s specific personalities: Are they rule followers or more likely to push boundaries? Are they anxious? All of this will affect when and whether they are ready to stay home.
■Your home’s location: Children who are closer to help from neighbors may be more comfortable home alone than children in a rural setting.
Sand-Loud also recommends that parents start slowly in order to build their own comfort level with leaving a child home and to show the child that he or she is capable of taking care of themselves.
Start with a five-minute trip to the neighbor’s house and progress to running a half-hour errand in town.
If these outings go well, give your child more autonomy by leaving for longer periods.
It’s also important that children be comfortable being home entirely alone before they are left in charge of younger siblings.
“It’s one thing to take care of yourself when you’re 11 and another to take care of yourself and other siblings,” she said.
Before leaving a child home alone, make your expectations clear and role-play different scenarios that might occur. Sand-Loud suggests the following:
■Troubleshoot possible scenarios: What would your child do if someone knocked on the door? What if a smoke detector went off?
■Get another phone line: Kids who are left alone should have a reliable phone connection, either a land line or their own mobile phone.
■Leave contact information: Make sure children know their address, parents’ phone numbers and parents’ locations. Better yet, write this down so it is handy in an emergency.
It is also important to talk to your child about internet usage while you are out. Typically, tweens are still monitored closely when they are online, so it’s important to set parameters when they will have access to the internet unsupervised.
“There are so many other things parents are thinking about when they’re getting ready to go out, but need to think about that,” Sand-Loud said. “We tell kids not to let a stranger in from the outside, but this is letting a stranger in from the inside.”
If either parent or child is uncomfortable with the child staying home, a baby sitter prep class can be a great resource. These classes walk young teens and tweens through the steps that they should take if an emergency comes up. They’re beneficial for any child staying home unsupervised, not just baby sitters, Sand-Loud said.
“That often can be pretty empowering,” she said.