Ask any successful person what set them apart in their career path, and you’ll rarely hear about the technical abilities that they have. Instead, they come back again and again to so-called “soft skills” — things like communication, professionalism and conflict management that people need to move forward in any field.

“Soft skills transfer anywhere. You need soft skills to get ahead in the workplace,” said Martha Mott, the program director at WorkReadyNH, an initiative offered around the state, including in Lebanon and Claremont, to help people strengthen their soft skills in order to move forward in their careers.

People who work with employers throughout the region and nationally emphasize that companies regularly say they need employees with a strong foundation of soft skills.

“Employers tell me that work ethic, time management and conflict management are really important to them,” said Allan Rodgers, dean of Academic Affairs & Strategic Planning at Vermont Technical College in Randolph.

Although soft skills are critical, they’re not easily taught in the classroom or measured by a test. Instead, they’re the product of years of guidance and expectations.

“Parents can have a huge impact on a child in encouraging and modeling these behaviors over the K-12 years,” said Robin T. Frye, program officer at The Nelson A. Rockefeller Center at Dartmouth and a coach with Salary Coaching for Women.

Frye said that leadership in a career requires self-awareness, situational awareness, and technical competence.

“The technical competence or being proficient in your field is well-covered at all levels of schooling,” she said. “But it’s life experience coupled with reflection that develops the former two.”

That life experience starts long before kids hit the “real world.” Skills like creativity, communication and conflict management can be modeled and taught throughout childhood.

“Exposing your children to a variety of experiences and teaching them how to reflect afterwards is a very good strategy to develop self-awareness and situational-awareness,” said Frye, who has two young kids.

At the same time, navigating the challenges of parenting can help adults refine their own soft skills, like conflict negotiation, teamwork and communication.

“You practice soft skills your whole life and hopefully you get better and better at them, but at no point you’ve achieved mastery,” Rodgers said.

Rodgers sees students come in with a large variation in soft skills. Overall, he says, lots of young people today know how to communicate their thoughts very well, but not necessarily how to listen or take advice.

“People just don’t listen enough or well enough,” he said.

To counteract this, parents should encourage their children to listen without assumption or interruption, and to consider viewpoints that are different from their own.

“It’s important to form your own view, but you don’t form the most informed views unless you listen in a balanced way,” he said.

Mott set expectations in her home that encouraged the development of skills like timeliness and responsibility in her children, who are now 22 and 26.

“You need to get to school on time, and talk to friends and teachers nicely,” she said. “Parents should start teaching these skills young, as soon as they can, then ramp up over time.”

In addition, having clear expectations and following through on consequences can prepare children for later in life when they will have to navigate and adhere to workplace policies and professional conduct, she said.

Now that Mott’s children are in their 20s, she can see how consistently having those conversations and developing soft skills along the way has helped them.

“It’s not always easy and it’s not always fun. It’s been a challenge over the years,” she said. “But it does pay off in the long run.”

Morgan Sailer, career and transfers coordinator at River Valley Community College in Claremont, is taking a similar approach with her children, who are 4 and 6.

“I provide those really positive messages about soft skills,” she said. “It’s never too early to really build work ethic.”

Sailer said that students who come into the college with strong interpersonal and communication skills have a clear advantage.

“You’re giving them the resources to know how to look for, get, and behave at a job, and ultimately to keep it.”