Perhaps the most often-repeated complaint from children in the United States is, “I’m bored.” And the most common reply from parents is, “Go find something to do.” Slouching, sighing, eye rolling and more complaining usually ensues.
Parents might consider a different response to complaints about boredom: surprising their children by answering, “Great, enjoy it!”
Ours is a world where boredom has a bad name. Only boring people are bored, right?
There is so much out there to capture our attention: so much homework, so many chores, so many sports, so many movies, so many social media platforms — not to mention 500 television stations and countless videos on YouTube — how can anyone ever be bored?
That’s the problem. With the cacophony of stimuli bombarding our brains, there’s little time or space to probe the most interesting subject imaginable: our own thoughts.
“My standard comment is, ‘wouldn’t it be wonderful to be bored for a couple of days’?” said Toni Prince, who has taught horseback riding to children and teens for nearly 50 years from her Prince & Pauper Farm in Norwich.
Prince, 76, and her husband, Greg, run the farm on their own, and her days are filled from sunrise to nearly midnight with chores and lessons. Downtime is a precious commodity.
“A luxury is lying on my back and looking at the clouds; that’s still an option. Sometimes I design rooms in my mind, or remember as many birds as I’ve been able to identity on the farm. Boredom leaves my mind free to wander,” Prince said, noting that in her family the word boredom has a bad connotation.
But boredom can be the mother of invention, and downtime is a vital ingredient for creativity. Who doesn’t remember sitting in the backseat of the family car on road trips and counting different colored vehicles or cows? When was the last time your child simply stared out the window lost in a daydream?
It’s important for children to have downtime to engage their own thoughts, according to Dr. Robert Racusin, an emeritus professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, who practiced child and adolescent psychiatry for 35 years.
“It has to do with reflection and time to observe the world. Children are filling their time with more screens, and relying on high levels of external stimulation, instead of their own inner world, thoughts and fantasies,” Racusin said. “It’s a great concern to us in the field.”
The constancy of outside stimulation and lack of unstructured time to reflect has resulted in many children (and adults) feeling uncomfortable being alone, and not knowing how to be happy with their own company. Most people can’t even wait in line for a cup of coffee without looking to their phones for entertainment.
“I thoroughly enjoy being by myself,” Prince said. “I have fun, I relax, and I get to think about what I want to think about. If you’re never left to your thoughts, how are you ever going to be happy with your own company?”