When we started the Roaring 20s a year ago, the idea was to draw a portrait of an age group in the Upper Valley — those 20 to 29 years old, going through a time in life when people traditionally make the transition from youth to the more settled patterns of adult life. Some of the 10 20-somethings we profiled confirmed that life trajectory; others did not, or at least not yet.
Becca White, who at the time was 20 years old and newly elected to the Hartford Selectboard, generously agreed to be our first subject. But she cautioned against the idea of classifying people solely on their age.
“We’re all so different,” she said.
White’s observation was confirmed throughout the series: In profiling people who fit into few parameters except that they were in a particular age group and lived in a particular region, we found a diverse group with a range of personalities, lifestyles and stories to tell. (You can catch up on the series at www.vnews.com/Roaring20s.)
At the same time, we found a general motif throughout the year: Getting started is hard. And when you’re in your first adult decade, that’s what you’re often doing — starting your life. The challenges faced by many 20-somethings, while not unique to the age group, are common among them, whether it be finding housing, transportation, community or a path out of a difficult childhood.
When White suggested that we should also profile ourselves, she invited self-reflection about where we were and how we came to be there.
Among the things we have in common is that both of us moved to the Upper Valley to take jobs at the Valley News. Sarah, a Pennsylvania native, started as a photo intern in 2010 and was hired as a staff photographer in 2011. Maggie, raised in the Boston suburbs, joined the reporting staff the following January and transitioned to web editor last fall.
Now ages 27 and 28, we decided to take White’s advice, subjecting ourselves to the tortures we regularly inflict on others: an off-the-cuff interview with each other, and a photo portrait.
An abridged version of our conversation appears below. We started by reflecting on our 10 subjects, noting that one of the common themes that emerged was their desire to have a positive impact on their communities.
Maggie: And that’s why we were drawn to them.
Sarah: I think another thing that many of our subjects have in common is that they were pretty straightforward and honest with some of the struggles they have had in being 20-somethings in the Upper Valley. I think a struggle that many of the people we talked to talked about was the amount of things to do in the area, social things.
M: Yeah, everybody kept on saying how there isn’t nightlife, which is interesting to me because, is that something that is unique to 20-somethings?
S: How did you feel about that when you first moved to the Upper Valley and how do you feel now, in regards to finding activities, friends, etc.?
M: I would say from the time I moved up here (shortly before my 23rd birthday), I wasn’t into the traditional idea of what people think about when they think of nightlife — clubbing and going drinking — but finding things to do was really hard. In college, your social structure is all set up for you. The college plops you all down in dorms and you at least have a starting point to meet other people. After college I lived in Hawaii, and the way I met people was through my job, basically; we had a shared living situation. Then in the Upper Valley — I don’t think it’s exclusive to this area — once you’re out of college, it’s really hard to initiate friendships. Now I love going out on weekends to certain things. There’s plenty of things to do if you look a little harder. But almost five years later, I am plenty happy staying home on a Saturday night or having people over.
S: I feel really the same way. I moved up here when I was 22. It took about two years to really make good solid friends and many of my first friends were friends through work. I think once you start making friends up here, it’s a lot easier as you’re able to make friends through the friends you have. And I’ve noticed the past couple of years that many younger people are moving up here. I also feel like I’ve made a life for myself at home, and I’m really thrilled when I do get to spend a night at home.
M: So when did you intern at the Valley News?
S: I was an intern in 2010.
M: Was (your husband) Jeff up with you?
S: No, he didn’t move up here until we made the move together in 2011. I can definitely say that the time I was an intern here and living by myself was a really lonely time. It’s interesting that even though I didn’t have much of a social experience while I was interning here, I was still compelled to move back.
M: Why do you think that is?
S: I think it’s the core values of this area. I liked the idea of these small communities, that there weren’t a million strip malls everywhere, like my hometown in Pennsylvania. When you moved up here, did you have intentions to stay?
M: No, absolutely not. I thought I would stay in the Upper Valley for maybe two years. I was much more into the idea of moving around a lot. I was talking to my friend when I was in San Franciso recently and she said, “I never pictured you not living in a city.” And I thought, I never did either. I’d never even considered living outside a city and when I ended up living somewhere this rural, it was a much better fit. Although White River is also not super rural.
S: Yeah, but there’s no Chipotle.
M: Or Target. That’s what makes it super rural.
S: For as much as we live here to get away from those places, part of us do miss them, at least I do.
M: I was raised in the shopping mecca of MetroWest Boston. … I definitely recognize that this extreme consumer culture is a part of me, and I try to get away from it, but I just can’t help it sometimes.
S: We’ve both had really crappy cars.
M: We’ve had really crappy Honda Civics from the mid-’90s — multiple ones.
S: We both know what it’s like to not be able to get to work because a car won’t start.
M: What kind of impact did that have on you?
S: I think for everyone there’s such a big issue of transportation. Unless you live right in West Lebanon, you’re going to have to be doing a lot of driving. At one point we had three cars, and none of them worked. Jeff would often have to take off work so he could spend the day getting one of the cars to work.
M: Where was he working?
S: He was doing his timber framing apprenticeship, so we were on one income and paying very high rent, and trying to keep cars going. I remember the day I realized I needed to get a better car. It was when I was driving Jeff’s old beat-up car to a running trail a mile away and it was an old Volkswagen Passat. It was so difficult to drive, and all the noises it was making, and I said, we have to have one car that runs well in this house. Two weeks later we bought my car, and took on our first car payment. That on top of student loans is something we still deal with. And now we have a mortgage for the land we bought, and we’re saving up to build our house. I feel like if you live in this area you hemorrhage money for one reason or another.
M: There were a number of times I would drive somewhere and just not make it back. It was a losing battle. (My boyfriend) Chico and I were living on a dirt road in Thetford for two years while I had that last Civic, and it just got beat up. I remember Stuart Rogers, the Thetford Selectboard chairman, made a good point about living rurally. He said when you live in this area, you need four-wheel drive, because in order to keep taxes reasonable they can’t always plow to the standards of a city. But many 20-somethings don’t have access to a four-wheel drive car. It’s not like what he’s saying is wrong, it’s just a dilemma.
You talked about hemorrhaging money. Can you explain how you work two very full-time jobs basically to be able to live as a 20-something up here?
S: I work full-time at the Valley News, and then I run my own wedding photography business, shooting 12-15 weddings a year. On top of that I do freelance assignments, and my husband works a full-time job with a few side jobs as well. I don’t have a lot of free weekends. On top of that, I’m working on helping to build our house. I think that is a challenge around here. I also see a lot of people in their 20s and 30s that I’ve seen move up here have trust funds and family support, and sometimes it’s difficult to see them be able to easily settle in around here when many others are working really hard to pay their bills every month and to get some dreams to happen too. But, despite that, I know we’re lucky to be able to have the opportunity to design and build our own house.
M: You have student loans to deal with, too.
S: Yeah, we have about $400 a month in student loans to pay.
M: That’s huge on top of housing. . . . I’ve paid everything from $560 for a one-bedroom in Lebanon to $750 in Wilder living by myself, then paid $900 total when Chico and I had our last apartment in White River Junction. And I think (my rents have) always been on the lower end (for this area). . . . (Being able to get out of the renting cycle and buy my own house) is something I feel very lucky about and has made me reflect on and recognize a lot of the privilege I have. It’s a privilege to be in debt when it’s good debt. There’s plenty of people who want to take out a loan who don’t qualify, and I think there’s a lot of 20-somethings in that pot. And there’s a lot of 20-somethings burdened by extreme college debt, and I’m not one of them either. I dropped out of school, and it ended up working for me and I had much less to pay off. My parents also took out a loan for some of my tuition. So I’m the rare 20-something who doesn’t have any student loans to deal with anymore, but I also don’t have a college degree. That’s worked out for me so far, but it could potentially come back to bite me in the future.
S: And you’re definitely in the minority for people our age buying houses.
M: Sometimes I feel a little bit weird to be honest about it, because it is something that not many people in our age group are doing. Now that we’re living in a house, it feels like it’s our new living space, but leading up to moving in, I think there were people wondering if we were crazy, how could we do that. It made me feel weirdly guilty sometimes.
S: You think about the things we’re talking about right now, and all the things we’ve done in this microcosm of six months. You’ve bought a house, and a car, and I’ve just had my sister give birth this week, and my other sister got married two weeks ago, and we’re in the middle of building a house. (They’re big events that are) really concentrated in this time. And yes, some people wait to do this until their 30s or 40s and some do it earlier, but the 20s is this concentrated time. When we’re 20 years old, we’re still in college and pretty irresponsible in a lot of ways. We’re ending out our 20s with houses and bills and this social structure we have in our lives and this community.
M: Yeah, I can see from the beginning of my 20s to the end of my 20s it has gone from being scrappy and pulling things together in any way I could to it getting easier. What I have budgeted for mortgage, interest, heat, taxes, everything, per month, is almost exactly what I was paying per month for my first apartment in the Upper Valley, but I’m locked into it.
S: I’ve noticed I generally pay my bills more on time. I don’t get speeding tickets anymore. The little stupid mistakes I made at the beginning of this decade I’ve flattened out. There’s still a lot more room to grow, but I feel more like an adult now than when I started this decade.
M: So when you’re 80, in a rocking chair, when you look back on your 20s, what do you think your defining moments in this decade are?
S: It’s the decade I figured out who I was, where I wasn’t just some awkward person with a million things that I liked, it’s where I became a working part of the community, but also found myself and found my own happiness. This is definitely the time of life that I’ve been most content. In a more specific sense, I’d see it as a decade of transition. Physically, I made the move to Vermont, and getting a job, making friends, getting married, getting a dog, and a horse. Something you and I talked about a few months ago that has stuck with me is that when we were kids there was always this feeling of being an adult hammered into our heads that it would be boring and full of lots of responsibility. That hasn’t been completely true. I have much more fun as an adult than I thought I would.
M: It’s also realizing you don’t need to live a certain way or replicate the experiences you thought you would have growing up.
S: What do you think you would see about this decade when you’re in your 80s?
M: I think you summed it up nicely — becoming comfortable with who I am and what I’m doing and accepting some of the boring parts of life . . . but also being able to invest my time in other things that I do like. As far as milestones go, moving to the Upper Valley, meeting Chico, buying a house. My parents’ divorce is actually another big one. That’s something I think a lot more 20-somethings are going through.
S: In a way, you’re involved in it less than you would be if it happened when you were a child, but in other ways, involved in it more.
M: Yeah, that’s totally true. I don’t have to pick which parent’s house to live in. But it’s all these other emotional and logistical issues that you have to figure out on your own.
What is it like to not only be buying a house, but actually be building that house?
S: It’s really stressful. I’ve already have had some arguments about it this week. Jeff and I are taking a night away from other obligations this week to sit down and have a meeting about timelines and deadlines. Not only are we buying and building a house, but we’re building it ourselves, and we’re raising money to be able to afford it at the same time. It’s stressful, but really exciting. We’ve also gotten to know more of our community since we’ve bought the land. Now we know we’re going to be living in the area for a while, we’ve really started growing ties with people in the community. Remember at the beginning of your 20s when you thought a one-year lease was the longest thing in the world?
M: I had trouble committing to that. I actually have broken every one-year lease I have ever had in the Upper Valley (there were three).
S: I think that’s part of our generation — transience.
M: Yeah, when I think about my own friend group here, it’s split down the middle between people who grew up here and those who moved here.
Sarah Priestap
Age: 27
Hometown: Erie, Pa.
Current town: Tunbridge
Maggie Cassidy
Age: 28
Hometown: Framingham, Mass.
Current town: Hartford (White River Junction)
S: Five years ago, I was working on a whale-watching boat in Alaska. I was just starting to think I wanted to move to the Upper Valley, where I had previously interned, and make a life for myself here.
M: I was just starting my internship at The Molokai Dispatch in Hawaii, and I was probably feeling very lonely, frankly, and trying to adjust there. I had gotten the internship after moving home for eight months and working at Newbury Comics. (The internship) was a restart after I had left school, and I guess it worked.
S: Still in the Upper Valley. I want to be more involved in my community of Tunbridge and the White River Valley area.
M: I still picture myself in the Upper Valley at that point. I love our house but don’t know that we will live there forever and ever. But I didn’t see myself living in the Upper Valley for more than two years, either.
S: I think the Upper Valley offers individuality and space for 20-somethings. I also think there are plenty of opportunities and undersaturated markets — businesses and community opportunities that people could take and run with. The biggest thing lacking is diversity, and I see some racism in this area I didn’t see growing up in western Pennsylvania.
M: I think it offers plenty; I think you just have to look at it from a different angle to find it. The “everyone knows your name” kind of feel is nice for 20-somethings — it helped me to adjust here. I completely agree (about) the area lacking racial and ethnic diversity. I feel like diversity makes anywhere a better place to live, and that’s a huge hurdle that the Upper Valley faces. I think that another major one that we all have identified is affordable housing. It isn’t breaking news (but) it would fix a lot of other problems in the area and make it more accessible to more people.