Since all strong relationships are based on honesty, I want to start with a confession; I am a flatlander.
While I’m in a confessing mood, I might as well share that I had never heard the term “flatlander” until my mother-in-law called me one more than 30 years ago.
Whereas my mother-in-law has lived her whole life in the Upper Valley, as did her mother, I have lived a nomadic life. I was born and raised in Washington, DC, went to college in Chicago, and have lived my adult life in Illinois, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts and Connecticut.
Since college, my choice of locale has always been job-related, but a couple of years ago, I began to see a flicker of light signaling an impending retirement and for the first time, I would be able to select a place to live based entirely on my own preferences. OK, who am I kidding? We would be able to select a place to live based on my preferences and those of my wife.
In many ways, our options were unlimited. While I left my job this summer, my wife is still working three days a week, but as she has done for the past decade, she works exclusively from home so as long as the internet is flowing, so is her salary.
For most people, it seems the main priority in choosing their ideal location is often weather, and most frequently, the warmer the better. Realistically, for many this would immediately knock out the Upper Valley where the benefits of having four seasons is overridden by the reality that one of the four seasons (the coldest one) constitutes a significant majority of the year.
I’ve always thought of myself as going against the grain when it comes to my weather preference because despite growing up in a mild climate, I like cold weather significantly more than hot weather. My distaste for hot weather could have something to do with my being 6 feet 7 inches tall because we all know that heat rises and I am obviously subjected to an enormous amount of hot air, even excluding the addition from my incessant talking. I’m happiest living in a locale where the temperature never exceeds seventy degrees.
Ironically, my wife, who grew up in the Upper Valley, dislikes cold weather to the extent that she would be most content living somewhere where the temperature never goes below seventy degrees. What a conundrum!
Certainly, there are other considerations such as access to amenities and costs which need to be taken into account, but after almost 30 years of marriage, I’ve convinced my wife (hypnosis is expensive, but worth it) that living a frugal life is to be admired and extravagances like designer clothes, expensive meals, and luxury shopping should be restricted to the likes of celebrities, hedge fund managers and royalty. As for me, my diet is dominated by foods that the Department of Health would consider off limits and most of my clothes are 20 to 30 years old and stylistically enhanced by condiment stains.
While I think the Upper Valley can serve all of my needs as a retiree, I needed a conclusive persuasion to get my wife to return to a place that as a young person she moved away from with the assumption that she would never return to as a full-time resident. In an act of desperation, I decided to break out the biggest piece of ammunition I could think of: family!
You see, the Upper Valley is where my wife’s mother, aunt, and cousins live and her sister and family are only 90 minutes away in Vermont. In addition to their companionship and support, this is particularly important for my wife as she awaits the day when my unhealthy diet dictates her needing a family member to feed and let the dog out while she tends to me after a medical emergency (I jest, but it’s happened before).
So, this is the tradeoff we have made. My wife will be close to family and I will get my desired weather and non-urban locale. The next chapter of our life has begun and I look forward to seeing where it goes.
Since I am only at the beginning stage of living in the Upper Valley, I know that I will still qualify as a flatlander for years (perhaps generations) to come, but I look forward to learning about, and contributing, to the community so that someday soon I can be referred to as simply a good neighbor.
The writer retired to Enfield in July 2026. He can frequently be seen attending sporting events, rallying on a pickleball court, biking the Northern Rail Trail, or kayaking on Lake Mascoma. He can be reached at vnewstalltales@gmail.com.
