During his year as a hospital chaplain, Jay Sherwin spent hours talking to patients about their lives.
“My favorite part of that experience was pulling up a chair in people’s hospital rooms and inviting them to tell me their story,” Sherwin said from his home in Portland, Maine.
It also got him thinking about ways he could help people write those stories down and preserve them for future generations. In 2019, he started the Life Reflections Project to help people write “legacy letters” to share what they’ve learned in life with their families and friends.
“It’s a nice chance to also think about your values and your wishes and principles that you want to leave behind, which to me is much more important than the stuff you leave behind,” Sherwin said.
Sherwin will be teaching a virtual class about legacy letters through OSHER@Dartmouth from 2 to 4 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 26. The cost is $25, plus $70 for an OSHER membership. Registration is required at osher.dartmouth.edu.
Legacy letters, Sherwin stressed, are not a legal document; they are simply a way to share your thoughts about your life with loved ones.
“This is a wonderful gift to yourself to write it and a gift to your family and friends to share a gift like this,” he said. “Many people feel like they don’t have it in them to write a full-length memoir or do a family genealogy project.”
A letter feels more doable and, while a lot of thought can go into writing them, they’re also fairly simple to put together. Sherwin’s students often ask him for an outline and he provides some starting points:
■What are you proud of?
■What are you grateful for?
■What are your regrets?
■What kind of blessing/wishes do you want to offer to family and friends?
Still, these prompts are simply a way to get writers going.
“That gives people some structure. They’re not starting with a blank page,” he said. “Everyone’s legacy letter is different, and I always say your letter should come from your heart, not a template.”
Sherwin encourages people to write their letters when they’re healthy and their minds are sharp. While the majority of his students are older adults, the letters can be written at any stage of life.
“I always try to make the point that this shouldn’t be an end-of-life project,” Sherwin said. “Many people end up revising them and adding to them over time.”
In some ways, those discussions became more crucial during the COVID-19 pandemic. People became more reflective and started thinking more about their legacies. They also started talking about tougher topics.
Sometimes, legacy letters can be a way to ease into talking about advance directives and end-of-life planning.
“This is a way of beginning to recognize that our lives are finite and to focus on what’s most important,” Sherwin said.
Liz Sauchelli can be reached at esauchelli@vnews.com or 603-727-3221.
