ENFIELD — Mary Tyler had always had a green thumb — it ran in the family, according to her nephew and godson Raymond Estes III — but everyone who saw her flower gardens knew that they were really something special.
“She was always so excited when it was springtime because she could start digging up her lawn and putting flowers in it,” said Joan Aldrich, Tyler’s sister, recalling Tyler’s beautiful begonias and African violets as well as a crabapple tree she planted to commemorate their oldest sister, Carol, who died about 20 years ago.
Tyler died on Feb. 21, after a five-month battle with pancreatic cancer. She leaves behind a legacy of beauty — both in her flower gardens and in her place in her family and the Enfield community.
Doug Maynard, Tyler’s partner for nearly 17 years, said that her proudest horticultural achievement was a rock garden with a working waterfall that she dubbed “Tyler Falls.” The project took years of planning, and once it was finished, Tyler even relocated her air conditioning unit so her view of the waterfall would be unobstructed.
“She complained every year about how much work it takes to do it, but she didn’t slow down,” Maynard said. “She always had her gardens, and she would keep adding to them.”
Aldrich said that one aspect that contributed to this work was Tyler’s ongoing fight with the deer who lived near her home, who would consistently trespass in her gardens. The spring before Tyler died, Aldrich said, she planted two flats of pansies in her yard and planned to send a photo to her sister the next morning, but deer had eaten off all the flowers before she could. Once when Aldrich was visiting, Tyler even ran out into the garden to catch the deer in the act and scare them away, though they returned soon afterwards.
While Tyler’s home was surrounded by multiple gardens, Maynard said that she never planted her favorite flowers — white daisies and yellow roses — so he would always get them for her on special occasions. Aldrich said that Maynard once bought Tyler a rosebush that she was extremely proud of, but its blooms were also soon eaten by the deer.
Besides Tyler’s deer rivals, “there’s not too many people who didn’t like her,” Maynard said. Aldrich said that Tyler was active in their school community from an early age, joining the cheerleading squad and eventually becoming the school’s mascot.
“She was an active person, very caring, gave of herself to others,” Aldrich said. “That was her personality — very caring, very giving.”
Aldrich and Estes both said that while Tyler never had children, she treated her niece and nephews as if they were her own. Estes said that she had been an important part of his life since he was a baby, especially since his mother and Tyler’s sister, Susan, passed away in 2019.
“She looked over us and cared for us, because that’s just what she did,” Estes said. “She did everything she could to help my mother and help take care of me. She was always there for me.”
Tyler’s caring nature was especially apparent when it came to her husband Ed Tyler, who died in 2005. Tyler and Ed were childhood sweethearts, and they were married in 1977. Their 28 years together were happy and rewarding, even despite a spinal cord injury in 1985 that left Ed paralyzed.
“She was diligent and loving and such a caring person,” Aldrich said, noting that Ed lived much longer after his injury than most quadriplegics due to Tyler’s devoted care.
Ed was even able to work in the human resources department at Alice Peck Day Memorial Hospital in Lebanon, where he and Maynard became close friends when Maynard had an extended hospital stay. After Ed’s death, Maynard said, he and Tyler would see each other every few months for lunch or dinner. They started dating about a year and a half later.
When Tyler wasn’t in her garden or doing a jigsaw puzzle, she and Maynard “did pretty much everything together,” according to Estes. Maynard said that he and Tyler would go snowshoeing together each winter, and they would get together with friends to watch the Patriots game every weekend, or the Red Sox if they were doing well. They once traveled to Buffalo, N.Y., to watch a Patriots game in person, which Maynard said they won.
One thing Maynard said he and Tyler didn’t agree on was her “favorite toy,” a Toyota Solara convertible that she had bought a few months after Ed died. On hot days Maynard would want to turn on the air conditioning, but Tyler loved to drive around with the top down.
Aldrich said that Tyler had loved the outdoors ever since they were children, and that the sisters grew up going ice skating, swimming and camping together in the Enfield area. According to Aldrich, Tyler was “game for almost anything” — except walking through Aldrich’s yard in Florida, as she was afraid of running into a snake.
Though she did not begin seriously gardening until she was an adult, Tyler had always had an interest in their mother’s plants and was constantly curious about the world around her. Aldrich remembered that when the family would visit a local fish hatchery, their father would warn the sisters not to stray too close to the edge of the water; Tyler, the youngest of the four sisters, never listened, and one trip had to be cut short because Tyler accidentally fell into a hatching pond while trying to catch a fish.
Estes said that in family photos of the four sisters, they are always smiling, a feature that each of them carried into adulthood.
“She was one of those people that’s just smiling, always was happy. There was very little that got her down,” Estes said, though he noted that Tyler was also “quick to tell you how it was. That was one thing with my aunt, if she felt that you were being an idiot, she would always tell you.”
“She was certainly warm and outgoing, and she loved to laugh,” Maynard added.
Tyler cared deeply about the happiness of others in addition to her own. Much of what she did — from including a bird gazebo in her garden to planning girls’ nights out with old friends from high school — she did for the benefit of others as much as for herself.
“She was one of those rare people that would do pretty much anything for anybody,” Estes said.
Estes said that Tyler was well known throughout her community as a hard worker, a strong woman, and a loyal friend with a big heart.
“She had so many people that cared about her. She was, I know, really great with the community” he said. “I can go into Enfield pretty much anywhere and say something about Mary Tyler and people would be like, ‘oh, I know your aunt Mary. Oh, I love your aunt. She’s such a sweetheart.’ ”
Lauren Adler can be reached at ladler19@gmail.com.