Paul Manganiello has done a great service to our community in writing about the need to normalize constructive family and community conversations about sex education and sexuality (“The Sex Talk: Parents Need Ideas and Help to Start an Awkward Conversation,” Oct. 9).
Just by writing about it so comfortably, he models how the rest of us can learn to feel comfortable too. And that’s the key — modeling.
We learn not only by reading books and articles, but by being around others who say it. We need to hear their tone, watch their body language, feel how it sounds, watch how the recipient responds, and accumulate those experiences multiple times so we have a “toolbox” when we try it ourselves. I’m eternally grateful that child care and public school educators, along with friends whose children were older, were there to help me get over my awkwardness. If we’re lucky, we get other chances as grandparents and aunts and uncles to be role models again.
So that’s the question — where do we have repeated opportunities to soak up how a natural conversation feels? I love the idea of technology, videos and social media — they get to a huge network of places we can’t reach. Let’s start brainstorming the places where we form opinions, pick up advice and change the norm — Facebook, book groups, YouTube, workshops, dinner parties, conversations at work, sports sidelines and lots more. (Don’t forget Cindy Pierce’s shows, for those who haven’t seen her.)
What if we each just try it out somewhere between now and New Year’s … and maybe it’s not so scary to do a bit at a time. Just say, “I read this article, what do you think?” and see where it goes.
Lizann Peyton Hanover
In choosing their candidate, we hope that voters base their decisions on relevant criteria like leadership, values and effectiveness. This is why we will vote for Sue Minter for governor of Vermont.
Over 25 years ago, we worked on a grassroots committee with Minter to start a drop-off recycling pilot program in Jamaica Plain, Boston. Largely because of her effective liaison work with the mayor’s office, the pilot program was hugely successful and led to the implementation of citywide curbside recycling.
In addition to her long track record on environmental issues, Minter has recently put forward bold and innovative ideas about making housing in Vermont more affordable. She advocates using Vermont’s high bond rating and today’s record-low interest rates to issue housing bonds that could be used for infrastructure improvements that would lower the cost of housing. These bonds can also provide housing subsidies to help low- and moderate-income families. In contrast, when speaking with housing advocates, her opponent’s idea is to shuffle around existing resources and take money from conservation and put it into housing. We believe that Minter’s leadership skills, values and effectiveness will make her an outstanding governor for Vermont.
John Vogel and Judy Music Wilder
Sen. Kelly Ayotte is between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, she has been a constant ally and follower of Sen. Mitch McConnell’s obnoxious obstructionist agenda, preventing Senate action on such vital matters as filling the Supreme Court vacancy, financing infrastructure work, moving forward on sensible gun control measures, making difficult decisions on environmental concerns, and so on.
On the other, she got all tangled up trying to split hairs between supporting Donald Trump and endorsing him. Then there was her slipping on whether he was a role model for children. Now she’s finally abandoned him with the revealing of the nauseating stuff he said on a 2005 videotape. I don’t think she can distinguish between allegiance to her party and to her country. Members of Congress are expected to represent the interests of their state, but their wider responsibility is to do what’s best for the entire country.
I have read that the most effective congresses are those that are divided, because compromise is a necessity. Let’s bring Ayotte home and give the Senate to the Democrats. Nobody would be better for us than Gov. Maggie Hassan. She has strength of character and a good head on her shoulders. Let’s give her a chance.
Anne Harms West Lebanon
I must protest, in defense of locker rooms. Men in locker rooms just don’t brag about the married women they have groped, or the size of their hands. We dry our hair (if there’s any left), get dressed and maybe lament the Red Sox’ recent descent, or confirm Tom Brady’s inevitable ascent to Valhalla. Giving locker rooms a bad name is just another of Donald Trump’s many existential atrocities.
Edward Berger Canaan
Rabbi Dov Taylor’s latest tendentious screed directed against Israel, (“America Helps fund Israel’s Policies,” Oct. 1) is no different than Palestinian propaganda. Taylor writes that the U.S. is “underwriting the Israeli occupation of Palestine: the continued appropriation and colonization of Palestinian land and the oppressive military rule of the Palestinian population” and that “settlements” are a hindrance to peace. His accusations are belied by actual facts.
Currently, the Palestinian Authority governs 95 percent to 98 percent of land on the West Bank as a result of the Oslo Accords, and the U.S. has spent billions to support a future Palestinian state. Ninety-eight percent of Palestinians live on 40 percent of West Bank land and built-up areas of Israeli “settlements” comprise only 1.7 percent of the land. Eighty percent of Israeli “settlements” are at or near the Green Line and could easily be absorbed into Israel with minor border adjustments that would not affect Palestinian population centers if that were an issue inhibiting peace. But “settlements” are not the issue.
Palestinians have shown they don’t want peace through a two-state solution. They’ve walked away from numerous peace proposals, perhaps the most comprehensive in 2000 and 2008 which most fair-minded observers, among them Bill Clinton, felt offered them virtually everything necessary for a viable state. According to Tony Blair, “the Palestinians don’t accept Israel’s right to exist.” One need only look at the Hamas and PLO Charters, which call for the obliteration of the state of Israel and the killing of Jews.
It should be noted that 1.7 million Arabs live in Israel. They vote, they serve in the army, on the Supreme Court, in the diplomatic corps and they are a part of Israel’s multicultural society. On the other hand, Palestinians refuse to have Jews in the West Bank or Gaza. The constant savage murder of Jews in Israel by Palestinians and refusal by Palestinians to negotiate, regardless of whether it’s Hamas in the Gaza Strip or the PLO on the West Bank, leaves little room for doubt about whether there will be peace. As long as Palestinians honor the most horrific murderers with large sums of money and treat them as heroes and educate their citizens to murder Israelis, there will be no peace and there will be nothing that the U.S. or Israel can do.
Stuart Richards Norwich
After your good story last month (“Dartmouth Unveils New Institute,” Sept. 17) about Dartmouth’s plans to build the Arthur L. Irving Institute for Energy and Society, using $80 million of Irving Oil’s money, I was interested enough to look for more. Some follow-up letters to the Valley News had expressed alarm about the potential for conflict when an academic “Institute for Energy and Society” is funded by a major oil company.
Those writers may be further informed by a six-part online investigative report on the Irvings’ behavior in their native Canada. (The billionaire Irving family, with giant oil, pipeline, refinery, paper, lumber and newspaper holdings, are based north of Maine, in New Brunswick) See nationalobserver.com/special-reports/house-irving.
Of particular interest is the fourth part, titled “How the Irvings intimidate their critics,” with a subsection “Going after New Brunswick academics.” See nationalobserver.com/2016/06/27/news/how-irvings-intimidate-their-critics.
This reminded me of how academic intimidation need be neither overt nor illegal to be effective. Thank you again for your Sept. 17 article.
Robert SpottswoodNorwich
Another Option for President
I would like to encourage all those who are unhappy with the candidates of the two major parties to vote for Gary Johnson. If he gets enough electoral votes, the election goes to the House of Representatives.
If that happens, we might get someone who is worthy of the office.
David Bowen New London