Tainted? You want tainted? I’ll be glad to give you tainted.
The Deflategate imbroglio — which unofficially ended with New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s capitulation to the rule of law last week — was never about suspiciously saggy footballs. The spectacle that, sadly, transfixed the NFL’s viewing public for the last year and a half had one purpose: Allowing commissioner Roger Goodell to take the cudgel of discipline the NFL Players Association handed him in the current collective bargaining agreement and beat the union to a pulp with it.
Goodell masterminded a sham of an investigation into charges that the Patriots — with Brady as the alleged ringleader — deliberately tampered with footballs to the detriment of an Indianapolis Colts team that had no competitive chance in its 2015 AFC Championship encounter.
He railroaded the ensuing investigation to suit his own beliefs (because he could), ignored due process (because it didn’t apply to the CBA), turned a blind eye toward science (because that’s what the ignorant do) and gave the 31 other owners who pay his salary the one thing they so rarely could accomplish on the field: a win over the Patriots.
The next useless debate now begins. Are New England’s four Super Bowl titles suspect? Is longtime coach Bill Belichick more evil than genius? Do Brady’s accomplishments now bear an indelible taint?
You want taint? Here it is for you:
The New England Patriots should boycott the 2016 NFL season. Deploy the nuclear option. Be a no-show. Take 16 weekends off. Blow a kiss to the Teflon tyrant who ruled over this whole mess.
Wouldn’t that throw a wet blanket over the next king of Goodell’s football fiefdom?
Frostbitten fans of the Denver Broncos could never claim the mantle of dynasty should their team repeat as Super Bowl champions next February. How can they, when the one squad legitimately standing in their way is thumbing its nose from a warm beach? (That the Broncos lack a quality quarterback is another matter entirely.)
Slick as the petroleum product that endorses their stadium, the Colts — and the homer media that spawned this ridiculous charade — would slide into irrelevance without the Patriots as a foil. Miami? Buffalo? The Jets? One of them would finally win the AFC East, or at least make the playoffs, but for what legitimacy?
The haters that have never gotten over New England’s decade-plus of dominance — to what would they be able to attach their bile? It would take the air out of their … oh, never mind.
As for the financial implications, do you really think Patriots owner Robert Kraft can’t take a multimillion-dollar hit for a principle? He once trusted Goodell. That really served him well.
Worry not for Brady; his supermodel wife does pretty well on her own, and J. Crew would jump at the chance to employ her hubby for an ad campaign. Rob Gronkowski could spend a year as the next Most Interesting Man in the World. Belichick might go on a monotone speaking tour.
Best of all: Everyone else would enjoy in the most meaningless season in NFL history. How can a win-loss record have significance if there are no wins or losses against the excellent but absent foe?
Reality didn’t fail Brady. Physics certainly didn’t let him down. Barring another turn in this silly saga, he’ll serve his four-game suspension because the union punted.
By giving Goodell unchecked power over player discipline — real or perceived — the NFLPA made Brady’s ban a possibility. When it was more concerned about rookie pay scales and avoiding an 18-game season, the union should have been fighting tooth and nail to bring reason to the punishment process. Brady didn’t get what he deserved, but the union surely did.
Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post nailed it on Friday when he pointed to the public-relations loss the NFL inflicted upon itself through Deflategate. The league’s powers over discipline will now become a major part of the next CBA negotiation. Unfortunately for the union, that won’t happen for another four years.
As Kilgore wrote: “It’s odious for the NFL to use its power in such a way. No matter how many fans know it and agree, what will it matter? Is it going to stop anybody from ordering Sunday Ticket? Or skipping their fantasy draft? Or buying a personal seat license? No matter what fans think about the league, they are addicted to the product. Even the NFL can’t screw up the games.”
No. But the Patriots could.
Go ahead. Push the button. Blow the whole thing up.
It’s exactly what the commissioner of the National Football League has coming to him.