When the Facebook message popped up on my computer screen, I was at first skeptical, then thrilled.
A woman I had met two or three times at area parenting groups was asking if I would be interested in a child care swap. Mindy and I were only casually acquainted — not even Facebook friends — but we had babies of similar ages, and both had careers with somewhat flexible hours and the ability to work from home.
While I was intrigued by her offer, I had no idea then that her messages would result in more than two years of reliable, consistent child care that didn’t cost a penny.
Within two weeks I was driving my 9-month-old to Mindy’s Cornish home. Later in the week, her youngest daughter, who was 6 months old at the time, came to my house in Claremont while her older daughter went to preschool.
The swap worked better than we could have imagined. Having a full day of child care allowed me to converse with clients or do reporting without interruption. Even on the days when the girls were in my care I was more productive than usual, because the kids kept each other entertained.
During the first year of the child care exchange, Mindy and I both grew our businesses. We decided to invest in the swap even more, each taking the kids two days a week. Not only did this benefit us financially and give us time to focus on our careers; it also allowed our girls to create a close bond, since they were together four days a week. At the same time, Mindy and I became friendly, bonding over the shared journey through motherhood and self-employment.
We continued our child care exchange for two and a half years, until Mindy and her family moved away. By then, we had each saved thousands of dollars on child care for our girls.
We undeniably got lucky with our swap. However, the experience also taught me that unconventional child care solutions can sometimes be found if you’re willing to get creative and be bold enough to ask others for input.
When Lisa Williams, of Newbury, Vt., returned to work after the birth of her first child, she brought the baby with her.
Williams had put her infant on the waitlist for local day cares, but no slots were available by the time she had to return to work six weeks postpartum.
When Williams discussed this with her employer, a local health clinic, they offered to let her bring the baby to work until a day care slot opened up.
While this helped bridge the gap in child care, it was difficult to balance being a mom and an employee at the same time, Williams said.
“I was grateful to be able to take my baby to work, however the quality of my work suffered,” she said.
Experiences like Williams’ are rare, but some companies do have flexible work policies for new parents, especially during the so-called fourth trimester (the first three months of baby’s life) when infants spend a lot of time sleeping.
W.S. Badger Co., a cosmetics company based in Gilsum, N.H., has a “babies at work” policy that allows parents to bring their infants to work until the baby is 6 months old or crawling, whichever comes first.
Parents who bring their babies to work are paid for 30 hours, rather than 40, allowing for two unpaid hours during the day to attend to baby’s needs.
“Badger’s experience thus far has been that the benefits far outweigh the concerns or inconveniences,” the company writes on its websites.
While bringing the baby to the office may be daunting, other careers are a natural fit for bringing a child along.
My sister, Rachel Sullivan, of Grantham, was a professional nanny for years before she became a mother.
After her son was born she returned to work after maternity leave, choosing to work with families that allowed her to bring her son along.
“I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I couldn’t afford it,” Sullivan said. “This gave me the flexibility to be the teacher for my child in his early years, while also exposing him to interactions with peers.”
She added that parents who were at first unsure about a nanny bringing her own child have since realized the situation benefits their children, too.
“I have nannied pre-baby and post-baby, and find that children learn more, have more fun and adapt better to routine when they have a friend with them,” Sullivan said. “People who have been hesitant about me bringing Winslow with me now can’t imagine they were going to do it another way.”
When Josh Clark of Bridgewater, realized that providing child care for his five children would take almost all of his pay, he decided to stay home with his daughters, ages 7 to 11.
“Even with scholarships, we would be spending most of what I make for child care,” said Clark, who worked as a truck driver.
The benefits are more than financial.
Some of the Clarks’ children have special needs, and another is a foster child. All of that makes finding child care out of the home especially difficult.
When Clark was on the road working, his wife, Kristal Clark, would often have to miss work for various appointments for the kids. Having him home has alleviated some stress for the family.
“Having him stay home makes sense financially and reduces stress for us and the kids,” Kristal Clark said.
It also allows Josh to make up for the time he spent on the road, away from his daughters.
“I missed a lot of time with my kids, and now I feel like I can make up for that,” he said.
To generate some extra income, Josh babysits other kids.
“My days are filled with taking seven kids swimming, fishing and bike riding,” he said. “I really love it.”
Sometimes Clark gets negative reactions to being home with the kids.
“People sometimes think it’s weird for me to stay home with the kids, some probably think I’m lazy,” Clark said. “I’ve had people think I must be clueless, that I can’t make them meals or be the primary caregiver because I’m a dad.”
However, the benefits far outweigh those drawbacks, he said, especially for a large family with complex needs.
“It’s working really well and we will probably keep doing it,” Clark said. “With me home, I can do it my way and I know that they are getting what they need. My goal is to make this the best summer of their lives. So far, it’s been a success.”